Why You Shouldn't Let Mew Have Sugar
by God of Fisticuffs
Summary: A story of what happens when you give a certain pink pokemon sugar, and why they'll never let it happen again. REWRITTEN


It was hectic sight in the Hall of Origins with most everything destroyed or worse for wear. Cracks spread along the ceilings, holes blown through walls, furniture tossed and littered about. The legendary pokemon scrambled around seeking safety from the pink bundle of madness. Several pokemon were lying on the floors, some unconscious after suffering a collision course with the small joyous legend. Then there was the unlucky Jirachi, the wish pokemon had been set flying...straight through a wall, you could see his legs kicking as he attempted to free himself, his rear end and the surrounding area were scorched and blackened. That unfortunate incident was caused by a misfired Aura Sphere. Even without having seen him done it everyone knew who the culprit was, the ancient legendary known as Mew.

* * *

Arceus was out on personal business when she sensed something was wrong at the Hall, she scowled and flew back to Mount Coronet as fast as her power would arrive. The God of Pokemon as they called her arrived in record breaking time and immediately hummed the tune to call forth the seemingly endless stairs that allowed entrance. To climb these stairs it would take humans months, sometimes even years, for the legendaries it took merely minutes, but for Arceus on this unpleasant occurence it took only seconds. Arceus stopped and gazed at the glorious golden doors of the Hall of Origins fearing the contents, then she stepped forward and pushed her way through. She gaped in horror at what she found, immediately after though her expression angered as she stepped through the main hall glancing at the destruction that had befallen it. A couple of the legendaries were gathered in a corner shaking, Arceus attempted to speak however resorted to ducking to dodge an incoming blur of punk fur. Once it passed Arceus fired a blast at the pokemon imprisoning it in a spherical, aura encased prison. Mew stopped confused at no longer having room to bounce off of the walls, seconds after he simply grinned and started flying circles around the sphere. The other conscious legends looked up from their cowering positions to find their savior.

"Oh, great you're here Arceus thank you so much for stopping him." a terrified Azelf praised, "Yes, you are welcome, now..." she started finally getting the chance to speak, "WHO IN THE HELL GAVE MEW SUGAR!?" Arceus yelled demandingly. Fear fell back onto their faces as they simultaneously pointed at the person they had all decided to blame. Arceus followed their fingers as her eyes rested upon the unconscious figure of Palkia. "Palkia, of course, who else would be stupid enough to let Mew have sugar?" she scoffed. The leader of the Hall sighed at the chaos that had been caused, "Alright everyone start to clean up." Arceus ordered hearing a few pokemon grumble and sigh, following her order anyways. She started to telepathically place a sofa in it's original position as she let a stray thought pass through her head _what is Mew thinking when he has sugar anyways?_

* * *

 _WEE! WEE! SUGAR! SUGAR! YAY! YAY? Wait where am I anyways?_ Mew thought as his sugar rush wore off and noticed the prison that he had been placed in, he looked at the destruction and gasped. _I did this didn't I?_ ,"I'm starting to get why Arceus doesn't let me have sugar." he murmured under his breath, "This is all Palkia's fault anyways."

 _Flashback_

 _Mew flew around the hall his normal giddy self, however he stopped to sniff the air and the wondrous aroma that filled it. Mew followed the scent to the kitchen where Palkia was pulling a tray of cookies from the flew over to her and bellowed in her ear, "HEY PALKIA WATCHA' DOIN' ?"as loud as he could. She flinched and dropped the tray, the cookies miraculously managing to stay on it, and fell into the fridge. A disoriented Palkia stood up and picked the tray up off the ground._

 _"Baking cookies Mew, what does it look like?" Mew shrugged, "Baking cookies, hey can I have some?" Palkia scowled at the pink pokemon,"What are you stupid? By Arceus' orders and unanimous vote you're banned from sugar, so what do you think?"a disappointed and sad look spread across his face, "Harsh, but c'mon I really want some." Palkia scowled, "I guess you didn't get it the first time. No, Mew." he harrumphed as he looked at the cookies, Without giving second thought to the consequences Mew dashed past Palkia and snagged five cookies, shoved them in his mouth and began to chew. Mew kept on chewing as he looked at Palkia, confused by the horrified look on her face. Soon after Mew's eyes rolled into the back of his head._

 _End of Flashback_

Mew started to pound on the sphere his paws curled up into tiny fists, gaining the attention of everyone around. Arceus floated over to him, "Are you quite done, Mew?" she asked cautiously before releasing him from the energy prison. Mew nodded his head furiously, eager to be free from the confined space. Arceus stamped her hoof causing the bubble to disappear. With nothing to sit on Mew began to fall to the floor, regaining his flight before he struck.

Mew dangled in the air awkwardly, "Hiya, Arceus back already huh?" he asked a goofy grin plastered onto his face, Arceus glared at him, "Yes Mew, I am back because of this!" She yelled gesturing to the rubble once known as the Hall of Origins.

"Yeah I was meaning to ask about the new look." Even more anger seeped into Arceus' expression, "Mew you did this, do you not remember it?" she seethed.

"Not at allll." Mew drawled mockingly _Wow I don't think I've ever seen Arceus this upset!_ he thought to himself as Arceus' face became even angrier as impossible as it seemed, "Honestly, do you expect me to believe that? How do you do all of this and not remember it?"

Mew opened his mouth to try -and fail- to give a plausible answer but thankfully Uxie covered him, "Well you see, sugar to most of course shortly enhances their energy and perception, but fades rather quickly. Mew has a rather strong reaction to sugar where both of those factors are increased by one-hundred fold. Mew moves so fast after ingesting sugar and his brain moves so fast he can't actually perceive what's going on around him, or what he's doing." Uxie deducted, "Yeah what nerd-face said!" Mew yelled trying to back up Uxie seeing as he was the only one with any way to help Mew escape certain doom, though Uxie frowned a bit at the _nerd-face_ part.

Fine you're off the hook Mew, but Palkia is going to pay for letting this happen!" Mew sighed in relief then smirked _Oh Palkia is so going to get it!_ he also spotted a lone cookie on the floor, having survived his rampage _Hmm one more cookie couldn't hurt, could it?_ he walked over, picked up the cookie, and stuffed it in his mouth. The last thing Mew heard before his eyes rolled back was a resounding chorus of, "MEW NO!"

* * *

Arceus walked over to Palkia once again dodging the blur that Mew had become. She stood over Palkia anger rippling through her. She though of the the repercussions for naught a second as she pulled her leg back and kicked Palkia full force in the face. Palkia jolted up, instantly clutching her face, and screamed "FUCK!" she glared up at her superior, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!?" Arceus looked down at her, "Observe your surroundings Palkia" and that Palkia did, surprised at what had happened. " _You'll_ be responsible for cleaning the whole hall, because you let Mew have sugar, and don't argue." she grumbled something that went unheard but sounded a bit like, "It wasn't even my damn fault." Arceus looked down at her sternly and barked, "This is why you don't give Mew sugar!"

* * *

 **Poor old Palkia, it really wasn't her fault, was it?**


End file.
